Navigating Grief

A few weeks ago, I was trying to find my way to a cemetery to place flowers on a grave of a loved one. I had listened to explanations that people had given me to get there, so I was confident that I would somehow stumble upon it without needing directions from Google Maps or a GPS. I thought I was on the right path, but soon I started getting nervous because I was on old gravel roads that eventually turned into trails. At this point, I was losing service for my phone and was realizing if I didn’t head back home, I would be entirely lost without any way to contact people. After an hour of driving and searching for this little cemetery in the middle of nowhere, I decided to head back home. On my drive home I was thinking about how if I would have just put the directions into my phone right away, I wouldn’t have gotten lost and I would have been able to find this cemetery. 

When trying to think of the words to say for this blog, I felt like God was leading me back to this example of directions from a GPS. In life, following God is kind of like following a GPS navigation system. When looking for direction on how to navigate difficulties in life, there have been countless times where I thought I could rely on my own strength and abilities to get me where I needed to go. I would end up lost and trying to use my own strength which would only sustain me for a little while but not for the entire journey. Like my failed attempt to find the cemetery on my own, I realized that if I had just relied on God the entire time (like putting my destination into my GPS) I would not have gone down such scary roads that would leave me without any energy left.

I think that navigating grief, loss, and loneliness is the same. Relying on your own strength will only get you so far until you run out of gas and find yourself lost without directions. If you fully surrender your grief, doubts, loneliness, and questions to Jesus, you will allow Him to carry and sustain you through the journey. Fully surrendering these feelings to God means giving them to Him and allowing Him to take you through a healing journey with Him.

The Bible gives a profound image of grief and loss to us through Jesus’ actions after Lazarus died. He was with Mary and Martha as they were mourning the death of Lazarus, and even though Jesus knew that He was going to call Lazarus out of his grave and raise him to life, the Bible says that Jesus wept. He wept because he was sharing in the pain and suffering that his friends were feeling. “Jesus wept” (John 11:35) is the shortest verse in the Bible but perhaps one of the most powerful. This verse demonstrates Christ’s humanity and his deep empathy that he has for those who are suffering. Jesus, fully God and yet fully human but without sin, is compassionate and feels the pain for people who are grieving. Since the Word of God never changes, this is still true for both you and me today.

 

 Christ’s humanity and empathy is comforting for those of us who are mourning. In Matthew 5:4, Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”. This verse shows that it is okay to mourn the losses you have, but it also tells us that Jesus will comfort us during those times. When you feel full of sorrow or loneliness, cry out to God for He hears your prayers. If you feel forsaken, Jesus has felt that pain, too. When Jesus was on the cross, He cried out to God and asked, “my God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). These feelings of immense grief, sorrow, and a feeling of being forsaken are no stranger to Jesus; He has felt those feelings. So, if you feel this way today, just know that Christ has felt that, too. God hears the cries of those who feel forsaken, and He will comfort you. That is a promise that He gives us in Matthew 5:4. Lean into Jesus and cast all your worries, sorrows, doubts, and questions on Him for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Jesus cares, and He always hears you. Even when everything seems so confusing and you are overwhelmed by grief, Jesus is there to carry your burdens. Matthew 11: 28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”. Jesus is inviting us into a place of fully giving him our burdens. He understands that grief and loss can make us weary, and he is promising us rest for our souls when we give Him our heavy burdens that we may carry.

There have been such difficult times where I have been at a loss of words to say to God when I was praying to Him. Praying, while enduring such a heavy heart filled with grief, can seem difficult. We have Jesus to pray for us when we don’t even have the words. Romans 8:26 says that “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans”. What a tender and loving Savior we serve that He prays for us and intercedes on our behalf when we don’t have the words to do so.

Like a GPS, if we follow Jesus, He will guide us as we grieve. He will give us direction through His word and through the gentle whispers of the Holy Spirit which we hear when we invite Him into our lives. We can find comfort in the promises that Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) and that He is always with us (Matthew 28:20). How comforting is it to have a Savior who both shares in our sorrows and yet also offers to carry them for us? Invite Jesus into the tender spots of your heart that are filled with grief and He will give your soul rest.